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May 29, 2012

A Beginning

I used to think that I had to get everything “right”, (what ever that was) and so I labored endlessly for some nebulous state of perfection that resided in a distant part of my mind. I would often tell myself that I would know it was right... when I saw it, when I felt it or when I reached it… but I know now that was one of the lies addicts tell themselves as they become debtors to their past or their future

Today in recovery I know that I cannot delay until everything is just right because perfection is beyond the grasp of mere mortals. There will always be challenges, obstacles and conditions I have no control over. I know now that I just have to make a beginning and with every stride I make, I grow stronger, more skilled and more self-confident in my own recovery and more importantly my own humanity.

"No This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." Winston Churchill

May 29, 2012 at 03:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 22, 2012

Daily Challenges in Recovery

In recovery I have discovered that one of the many things I can depend on is that life will present me daily with challenges that are routinely beyond my control. Roses and thorn

Yet despite my powerless in these matters I have found more often than not, these moments present opportunities for me to increase my spirituality, find inner peace and develop courage.

And its when I discard my fear and embrace my powerlessness that I come to understand that how we faces our challenges can positively determine the very nature of their resolution

Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses.

May 22, 2012 at 09:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 08, 2012

Forgiving Ourselves

A crucial step in the recovery from addiction is to make a list of people we have harmed and be willing to make amends to them all. In doing so we begin the process of clearing away the wreckage of our past, so that once the mental and emo...tional refuse of our addiction is swept aside, we may begin a new form of existence.

For some, however the person who is most overlooked, or to which an amend is never realized, is the soul that dwells within us. But if we cannot forgive ourselves our own transgressions then we can never be truly free of our past. When we are in the grip of self-pity there is no other prison more grim than our own heart, and no jailer as cruel as our self.

In recovery we must learn that the finest thing in the world is knowing how to belong with and to oneself.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said once that “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within”

So shine tonight, not for others….but for yourself!!

May 8, 2012 at 03:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 02, 2012

Lessons Learned

In the decade that has followed the loss of our son David to substance abuse the love and support of Lessons learnedmany have sustained us as we redefined our world without him.  Prominent among them have been his many friends who continue to call, write, email and stop by to see us....most often unannounced.  Today many are married and have children of their own which makes their visits all the more heart warming.

Their loss like ours, in the beginning was deep.  And yet in the midst of it the lessons they and we learned from his death were poignantly inventoried in the following entry of the 2002 Lawrence Central High School Yearbook. The dedicationcontinues to be an  eloquently guide for me as I do my best to live one day at a time without Dave:


Words cannot express the grief that we have felt since losing you.  The void you left in our hearts can only be surpassed by the joy you brought to our lives.  In your life, you made us laugh to the point of tears; in your death the tears we cried for you have been a painful reminder of a lesson that could only be learned at the expense of an insufferable loss.


You have taught us to live everyday as though it could be our last and to love those close to us with a passion we never knew existed.  We reveled in your smile and your endearing eyes, never thinking it could be the last time we saw them.  However, the memory of your smile is enough to help us survive everyday without you.  Whether it be a vivid dream, a brief memory of your laugh, or the slighted tug at our hearts, we are constantly reminded that you are with us always.  We love you David.

And so it goes................

May 2, 2012 at 10:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack