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May 20, 2009

Far From the Madding Crowd

I recently came across this fragment of a note that I wrote to now unknown friends in those early days after Davids death from addiction  and the ensuing funeral.  It was a time when the rest of the world returned to their daily routine while our world was still rent asunder.  As I read my words today the emotions come rushing back and yet I marvel at how prophetic they were.  The tools for our recovery were indeed within our hands but it would take many months and years before they were instilled in our hearts. 


June 2001 

Now that the rituals are concluded and the chorus of expressions of sorrow and comfort has quieted, the silence of our home is sometimes soothing and at other times deafening as we struggle with the conundrum of why we grieve for a soul set free. We are beginning to respond to the incredible outpouring of caring and affection and your notes to us were among the very first that helped assuage our pain. 


We are doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances.  Ironically it appears that the knowledge and coping strategies we learned while working through the substance abuse program David was enrolled in, have given us the tools and a framework to come to terms with his decision and its tragic consequences.  And while it didn't seem to work for him it has worked for us.


As I may have indicated, once we do the things that are required either by custom or by law, we plan to go away for a while.  I had suggested to Marissa that we go to my Dad's condo in Sedona Arizona but she has indicated that she needs the ocean to heal her.  We had promised Dave a trip to the Caribbean for "Fall Break" if he kept on track with his studies and his recovery.  It is a promise we have decided to keep albeit a bit sooner and sadder than we have planned.  We will try and find a place "Far from the Madding Crowd" where we can begin our healing in anonymity.  Not the usual high profile resort.....any suggestions you might have in that regard would be most welcome.


We so appreciate your kinds thoughts and prayers and I also thank you for remembering Marissa's love of Hydrangeas. The plant is beautiful and will be a wonderful addition to her garden.

We love you both very much and the next time your son returns  for a visit hold him tight and hug him and tell him that you love him...do that for yourselves and for us.



May 20, 2009 at 03:43 PM in The Odyssey | Permalink


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