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January 27, 2009

Odyssey....The Book

This past month I did something I never intended to do when I began this blog...I published  a book called Odyssey: Love Loss and Redemption For those of you who have been "playing along" by periodically checking in on my ramblings it will likely come as no surprise that Odyssey  is a complilation of random thoughts, memories and unfulfilled dreams from this sojourn to my own heart of darkness. 

The fatal choice son David made on June 9, 2001 changed our lives forever. Not only had we become members of a club no parent wants to be a part of but we also found ourselves unwillingly embarked upon an odyssey of desolation into an unknown and unforgiving land. We learned early on that our trek was an individual one as if we were in separate life boats rising and falling on the waves in a storm of grief; rarely able to reach out to help one another for fear that our boat would sink. As weeks turned to months and years I found increasing solace and temporary relief from loss in alcohol and drugs until addiction overwhelmed me as it Dave. I checked into the same treatment facility Dave had attended some two years before as the odyssey took a new tack.

The addition of a 12-Step program to my life broadened the meaning of recovery for me in ways that I could never have imagined. I learned tools and skills that not only helped guide me in my recovery from substance abuse but empowered me to face my grief from David’s death. One of those new tools came from an exciting and unexpected affiliation with the Partnership for a Drug Free America when they asked if I would be willing to write a blog entitled Parent Partners Making an Impact. I accepted their invitation with great trepidtion but soon found it to be an incredible gift that allowed me to provide a voice to buried thoughts and memories and in doing so give them wings to rise above sorrow where there was light and hope.

In the end Odyssey is not about recovery from addiction…or grief…or loss, but rather it is about the recovery of hope. Hope that I had lost when Dave died; hope made even more elusive by my escalating drug use; hope that I found in recovery.

I will always be a father who lost a child tragically to addiction just like I will always be an alcoholic. But it is the hope I find in the rooms of 12 step recovery from people I have met who travel this same odyssey that sustains me and ultimately is my redemption.

May you find some Hope in Odyssey

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January 27, 2009 at 08:55 PM in The Odyssey | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack