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September 17, 2012

Hope and Recovery From Loss

Serenity
The tragic passing of the son of close friends this week past has brought my own son’s loss some years ago into sharper focus that it has for a long time. The loss of a child is never something a parent gets over…as one lives the days with ...
their memory rather than their presence. Instead I have found that the loss has become incorporated into who I am and that I am irrevocably changed from what I once was. It was also with much astonishment that I learned that recovery from addiction assisted that gradual assimilation.

It has been more than a decade since my son David’s death and in looking back I can now see the progression and phases of emotion that washed over me as time relentlessly marched on despite my protestations. The first year was a blur as I stumbled numbly through holidays, birthdays and special moments with which in good times, we celebrate our lives. The second year was worse as I could anticipate the pain and suffering those same life events would bring me. But as I moved through the third year and beyond time passed with the gradual ebbing of the feelings that I didn’t want to be here without him. The hole in my heart began to ache less and acceptance began to take root and blossom in my soul.

“Acceptance is the answer” they say in recovery and I believe that today with all my heart. I now find comfort in the knowledge that I will be with my son again and healing in the confidence that after all I have been through I can wait. I have also noticed that I am happier than most people because I am not the same person I once was. I live life now on its own terms and by doing so possess a serenity that I had never known before.

Who would have guessed that loss and sorrow could make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon?

Thanks Dave.
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September 17, 2012 at 10:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack