A Story of Loss; A Vision of Hope

I was asked recently how sharing our story of losing an adolescent to addiction can possible help parents who are just beginning the treatment and recovery journey with their own child.  

I will never forget the first time we shared our story of losing David to substance abuse with a group of parents at the treatment center David had attended.  At the end of our talk a Dad, who had just brought his son in, got very angry and said "So what are you telling me, that this place doesn't work and that there is no hope for my son and our family?"  The fear and hopelessness in his voice pierced my heart and immediately took me right back to the same room and sitting in that same chair with my Dave barely two years before.  Clearly I knew then that we had to alter our approach so that a parent like him could find hope in the tragedy we had suffered.  It was no small task and took much reflection and soul searching but today we know what to say. 

Today I end my conversations with parents by saying:  "David's story doesn't have a happy ending. We obviously can't change what happened to him, but what we can do, is to share his story to help others understand the unbelievable power of the disease of addiction.  Yes it is indeed true that sometimes, even when you do all the right things, bad things can still happen. But there are hundreds of thousands of stories of recovery, and despite what happened to us, we believe that treatment does work and that recovery is possible for anyone.  We know that Dave was working on that recovery but was early in his journey and that he simply ran out of time. 

 Ten years later I still share parts of David's story every week not only with parents but with adolescents and adults.  It is never easy, the tears still gather in the corners of my eyes and my voice never fails to waiver.  But I have learned that the only thing more powerful than the disease of addiction is the power of the personal story.  I have have also learned that when I honor his struggle with addiction by telling his story I take back the power that disease once had over me.

And that is the essence of the stories of those who have lost loved ones to addiction....honoring the struggle and taking back the power of hope.